WASHINGTON—In response to the attempted assassination of former President Donald Trump at a rally in Pennsylvania over the weekend, Congress moved quickly to pass legislation Monday that bans the civilian use of roofs. “As our country continues to reel from this horrific event, we in Congress have taken action by…
  • Infynis@midwest.socialEnglish
    34·
    4 months ago

    Have you seen roofs? They look exactly like Lara Croft’s boobs in Tomb Raider 1. Think of the children!

    • Aa!@lemmy.worldEnglish
      51·
      4 months ago

      Honestly the alternate sites that get posted here from time to time just don’t match up in writing quality.

      • LostWanderer@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
        31·
        4 months ago

        Yeah, the tone and quality of other sites sometimes can’t compare to The Onion! They’ve been at it for so long, they’ve mastered their voice and project it well.

    • cm0002@lemmy.worldEnglish
      31·
      4 months ago

      They’re really having a field day with this, it’s been one great article after another lmao

      • LostWanderer@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
        21·
        4 months ago

        It feels so good to see The Onion living their best lives! They’ve been feeling it for the past few weeks; it’s gonna be a satire feast!

  • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    91·
    4 months ago

    Well they are used for murder and suicide, and accidents happen all the time! If it stops even one I say. At least make it so that only licensed people can clean gutters, ffs america!