you need to play en gâteau so that your opponent has to eat cake
Wait. That’s illegal.
So are 18 pawns and that odd-looking piece on c4-d6. I’d say any rules are OK at this point. How about Kb4-Enterprise (en beam-me-up-Scottant)?
You could show bobs but that may not work. Do you have a ballistic missile handy?
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Since you lose the game if your king is captured, you already lost and this is what happens after the game
aftermath of the white empire’s grand war
Best play is to pretend you supported the other king the whole time. Save your own skin.
This position could only happen with an illegal move. Another monarch would never permit the pawns to kill royalty and their police force would never help.
Did you ever wonder why the game is over just before a king dies?!?
switch to lichess
promote one of the pawns to become a new king. It worked in France.