-credit to nedroid for strange art

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 10th, 2023

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  • It’s good to be paranoid, but for years I have had periodic sign-ups for lists I never wanted, services I never asked for, medical appointments and plane ticket reservations(!) I didn’t make … you name it.

    All because I was an early gmail invitee, so my account is just ‘firstinitiallastname@gmail.com’ (with no ‘123’, or other decorations) – I was the FIRST. And I’ll be damned if I give it up!

    So, so many people with my first initial and surname forget to add whatever crap they added to their signup after they must have gotten the error message at sign-up that told them ‘sorry, but firstname.lastname@gmail.com is already taken’ and they then forget whatever they added, and keep using my email address when they register for whatever crap they do. So bloody annoying.

    I’ve taken to just logging into the numerous sites they helpfully send me registration links for, and if there’s a profile section I may (if I’m feeling cranky) set their profile photo and bio to unsavoury things, before locking the account. If I’m not feeling cranky I just unsubscribe/delete the account.

















  • Bomb the entire region with pork rinds and aerosolized pig fat (offensive to both warring religions there, right?) for 6 months, and give everyone there a solid deadline to pack one small bag per adult on free one-way flights, daily, to a new ‘homeland’. Canada can bequeath a region of northern Alberta-Sask-Nunavut for Jewish citizens, and… I dunno, Argentina does the same for Palestinians. Evacuees are issued special passports granting citizenship to their respective new ‘homelands’. The donor nations and new ‘homeland’ nations are each granted a one-time $1 trillion grant by the rest of Earth’s nations to set up the new arrangements.

    Oh, and finally. Death penalty for any evacuee and their descendants for 7 generations who even attempt to enter the ‘other’ homeland. And after that 6-month nonlethal bacon-bombing campaign, drop something over the entire ‘holy land’ to ensure it’s uninhabitable for the next 10,000 years. No one can claim they weren’t given a chance to leave by that point…

    Time to take away not just the toys, but the whole damn playground.

    Edit: wow, so many downvotes. Whatever, so tell me your plan to keep these two groups at bay, without any further needless deaths, geniuses.