Not with Trek, but I’m a former stagehand and I’ve done amateur stagework. Spent a lotta time building and maintaining sets and props. I’ve been there.

You’re backstage, you’ve got how everything should look memorized, it’s all set up, and for a moment, while it’s just you and that dry run, you forget yourself. You’re a part of the show.

Eventually you step back, remember it’s all fake. You notice the little flaws, notice the floor isn’t just right under your feet. You were tired, trying to get something done. A lapse.

I genuinely believe in the magic of the stage. Not in the sense of a spell, but of the ritual. No matter if it’s on a screen, or in person, if you do it right, we let go. For a moment, we forget our world and step into another.

Isis being informed that Osiris’ penis had been taken.

My friend, do yourself a favor and invest in a proper grinder. You can find pocket grinders with a kief catch for like $15. That catch will be your friend during the hard times. Let it build until you need it, and never clean that shit unless it is into your apparatus of choice.

ETA: Clean the grinder teeth, not the catch. Just knock it into the catch with a toothbrush before you do. Sometimes you can scrape some extra goodness up, but it sucks using a gummed grinder. Should be able to grind in one smooth motion, not too much resistance.

This is why you should support your local squirrel population.

Little buddies have been waging a war against this for a long time for us. We need to give back.

Ballistic corkscrew penis.

0 to full in .5 seconds.

Hey, if you can’t tell a duck from a goose, peace was never an option.

Let’s take inspiration from the glory days of piracy and Boondock Saints. Strap guns across every square inch of your body you can, and then line the trenchcoat.

I can climb into the Metapod all I like, I never come out a Butterfree.

Disappointment at every turn.

The modern version of Will and Grace?

Kinda surprised it hasn’t been made already.

That takes letting them get old. I don’t think you understand my level of banana consumption. I don’t need potassium, I am the potassium.

Totally bread, though. Second best way to consume the banan, and will disappear as quickly as a bunch if I’m left alone with it.

Also, if you want banana goods without waiting, spread them on a baking pan, toss them in the oven at a low heat until the peel starts turning black on both sides(takes about 10 minutes, in my experience. Flip when one side is getting dark). I like to make a shallow cut about a quarter of the way up all the way to the stem for easier peeling after pulling them out. Dump 'em into a mixer with a splash of water, let the paddle mash 'em.

Well, the two do have some things in common.

They both want you to follow them.

They want to lead you from chaos and danger.

They focus on helping the needy.

They can make food magically appear.

People love making art of when they got nailed.

“I’ll be there… Our special place… Brought to you by Papa John’s.”

Of course. They don’t even charge you for it! Wonderful experience, I recommend doing everything covered in blood. Also a great conversation starter!

Look, man, I’ve been there. One moment you’re having a regular day, you get that little craving, and bam, you’re in a DQ, covered in blood, Blizzard in hand.

Well, someone’s getting a visit from Calander Man.

Don’t mind me, I’m just setting up the popcorn cart for when the programmer arguments start. I’ll share.

Marital rape.

Oh, wait, so much of it already is “I was raised to perform my womanly duties, no matter my feelings”.

Sorry, this is a personal sore point, not trying to go off on you.

Oh, but it isn’t a fetish! It’s the command of God! They have to push out as many children as possible, because the Creator wishes for us to cover every inch of this planet, and they need a holy army to fight the demons Satan sends against us! And the women need to be pretty and subservient because Gods a man and He loves the good, pretty ladies.

(I have heard this bullshit so many fucking times, with so many reasons why this is their gods plan.)

But they can be eaten, or turned into gold, or juiced, or turned into a labor force, or…

Wait, what was Gargamel’s actual plan?

Hey, dullness could be a benefit! Make for a nice tenderizer.