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I’m female and bi and it is definitely noticeable when someone is staring at my chest and it is very uncomfortable. When I was younger there were certain guys that rarely looked me in my face and were just looking at my chest the whole time. I asked other girls about it and they agreed they too felt them gazing at their chests and it was really uncomfortable and off-putting for them as well. If you wanna help then tell them discreetly to tighten their bra straps. Otherwise I don’t find it acceptable to stare at a woman’s chest. A glance maybe but you should really be looking at their faces. People are not meat or eye candy, don’t objectify them, just remember the person they are inside. There may be women ok with it and like flaunting it but that’s not been my personal experience.

I hate that simplex is like this.

I’m not going to down vote you lol, I haven’t down voted anyone in this thread. There is no wrong answer or response. I do feel bad for her though, pencils are sharp even when unsharpened, I can’t imagine that felt good. Did she wrap it in a condom? How old was she?

Girl same, it took me a couple of guys and years before I had an orgasm. Luckily my current partner is very patient with me and I hope you find someone like that too. I feel like a lot of maybe younger or inexperienced guys just jackhammer a girl and then they’re done ugh. Sorry for misunderstanding you earlier, looks like we had much more in common than I thought! Judging by the down votes it looks like I said something offensive, and I just wanted to say sorry about that. This is just my experience.

I think I did ask about that and since she doesn’t have trouble inserting the speculum she said I didn’t have it. I use menstrual cups with lube just fine, although I do use a cup on the softer side.

You’re probably right, I never used lube with tampons but if I did it might not have hurt so bad. I did feel it was less tight putting them in once my virginity was gone but it still felt like tearing using them so maybe that was just me. Just now I tried searching but all I got was tampons don’t take your virginity which I already knew and was not trying to imply. I use cups now with lube and it is much better than tampons for me.

Edit:

Will tampons hurt with endometriosis?

They can, but the tampon pain associated with endometriosis tends to be similar to endometriosis dyspareunia, a term used to describe pain during sex. With endometriosis, a tampon can cause a heavy pain felt deep in the abdomen, or cramping.

Sometimes the tampon pain related to endometriosis also can cause your vaginal muscles to tense, causing a sharp pain at the entrance of the vagina when inserting or removing a tampon.

TINA tip: If you have endometriosis, speak with your doctor about which options for managing your period might be most comfortable. Speak up about how you’re feeling so your doctor can help you determine which type of pain relief options might work for you.

TIL I may have had endometriosis this whole time. I was wondering how I was using tampons wrong when I have heavy flows that need tampon+pad to manage.

https://www.tinahealthcare.com/blogs/learn/tampons-cause-pain-or-discomfort

It feels like nothing but rubbing for me? Idk. But I definitely recommend the book. I’m not saying those 80% hate penetration, but it isn’t a big part. I know when I talked to my gyno about painful sex, she said use plenty of lube and orgasm before penetration. Very good advice in case anyone needs it.

I’m glad you found relief from the religious oppression. We need less shaming and better sex ed for everyone. Thanks for your wishes, I wish you the same!

Understandable. I was never into penetration and thought I was weird but after talking to more women and then reading Come As You Are, it clicked that I was actually normal and in the majority (80% are like me). Not that being in the minority is weird, if you read the book you’ll find that is actually normal too. I hate masturbation or sex without a vibrator lol. I never felt safe talking to my parents either, they were super religious and invaded my privacy regularly. I was an adult before getting toys, and everything sex related sucked before them.

I agree parents should talk with their kids, I never meant to allude to that. But I disagree that penetration doesn’t feel bad, for me it feels painful without lube and with lube it feels not painful but never enjoyable. Vibrators are the only thing that feels good, that much is universal among the women I’ve talked to.

Most teens don’t want to put anything up there because it hurts, even tampons hurt as a virgin especially with 0 lube. I never liked regular dildos, most women do not orgasm through penetration. So I would say they are messing with you. I’ve had guys ask me if I ever experimented with pencils or rulers because if they were a girl they would do it. No, wtf only guys think women are like this.

I think people are too terminally online and use these phrases to justify being an ass to someone not in the know. In reddit it was always a mod getting pissed at someone having a different opinion (and no I’m not talking about being racist as a different opinion) or asking questions because they don’t know about the subject. They cry sealion and ban the person. Other people say I don’t think they were a sealion, and get banned too. Really it seems more like a, “I disagree and have nothing more to say and now will ban you.”

I think it’s fine to ask questions, and point out if there is a flaw in someone’s logic. If someone wants to stop talking then that’s fine and should be respected. But this comic makes it seem like the lady is racist for no reason and the sea lion is fine until the last 3 panels when the sea lion doesn’t leave after being told to go away.

I’ve heard this term before from a power mod and I’m surprised that this comes from a webcomic that doesn’t even fit any time I’ve seen someone cry sealion. When I read the Wikipedia page it describes something else than the comic which I can agree more with, the author is quoted as saying, “The core of what I set out to criticize is just the notion that any random patient stranger should feel entitled to as much of someone’s attention as they want.” Idk the rest of the Wikipedia page talks more of mind reading, you can’t tell what someone means online since there is no tone and you don’t know the other person well enough. If they are just doing the first 3 panels then it is fine. The last time I saw a “sealion” happen was when mods of a sub announced a new unpopular rule that they knew people would leave the sub because of and anyone who disagreed were called a sealion and banned.

Sorry for ranting about this, I just now was reminded of why I hate this term that is usually misused because of your comment. Feel free to ignore me, I don’t think I deserve some random person’s undivided attention, plus arguments/debates stress me out anyway.

Same but I went with proton.

I mostly drink water and tea so soda now feels too icky to drink but that hasn’t stopped me from enjoying other desserts. I don’t see myself giving that up lol I love it too much. If it works for you, then kudos to you. I just can’t dedicate myself to it. Especially not an entire year. I hope you don’t think I am putting you down or anything, if it works for you then you should stick to it.

That’s not the definition of intuitive eating, at least I’m pretty sure it isn’t. I look at the serving size of whatever I am eating on its packaging label, weigh it, log it, and eat it. I only eat that predetermined amount the manufacturer came up with. I don’t say maybe I’ll eat double this amount or half because my body feels differently that day. I eat the exact same thing of something every time I eat it. I stop eating when I’ve met my calorie count, not when my body feels sated. That’s calorie counting. As long as I eat throughout the day, I don’t feel much hunger. I’m pretty sure I have a slow metabolism and eating whatever I want in smaller portions has been working for me.

Yeah that doesn’t work for me, I actually enjoy eating food so eating “intuitively” makes me eat too much. That was a common complaint on r/CICO that eating intuitively made people regain their lost weight. There is a reason why people like me got fat in the first place lmao. Over-eating tasty food.

Once I learned what actual serving sizes are supposed to look like it got much more easy. It’s not stressful to count calories, I found it immensely stressful when I thought I was eating healthy low calorie meals but when I counted the calories using an actual scale I was actually over-eating and hated every second of it since I still felt hungry all day and the food tasted bad. Now I eat whatever I want or crave, including cheesecake, ice cream, burritos, spaghetti, burgers, and pizza. I’m not on a diet, I just adjust my portions. Once you get the hang of it, you can visually confirm you are eating too much or too little. This is how I like eating, nothing is off limits and very easy to tap a few times on my phone. My cheat day is everyday and I still lose weight. If I ever crave fish eyeballs, you can safely shoot me in the head lol.

It isn’t too hard to lose weight if that is your main goal, it just takes time. You don’t have to give up food that tastes good or that you love. Just eat under your TDEE and you’ll lose weight. Every meal can be a cheat meal. A food scale and counting calories are the only things you need. I’ve lost 30 pounds so far without doing any exercise and have lost 6 inches off my waist. There was a whole sub dedicated to it called r/CICO. I only need to lose 20 more pounds until my goal weight. I don’t eat food I don’t enjoy, that would be like torture to me.

Most people here are white or Asian. A small minority are Native Hawaiians and/or other pacific islander (the census lumps them together). And Lahaina was full of tourists on the regular since it had actual resorts there. You can say the government here has always been incompetent and doesn’t really care about poor people and how they get priced out of living here. If you told me most Natives have left Hawaii because it’s too expensive I would believe it, that would make sense. But environmental racism? Make it make sense.