Did you ever stop and think that maybe the problem with Gen Z was their lack of coal mining experience before the age of 12?
If this is your first time thinking about it, let me save you the trouble and assure you that yes, that is the problem.
So, long story short, we need to elect legislators that will finally allow young children back to working full-time in the mining industries.
Except for OP, it seems like they already have all the health benefits that come from spending an entire childhood breathing in coal dust.
This is 98% the right answer, but you drop them somewhere that keeps them intact, and believable enough so that people take them, and spend the rest of the weekend going to thrift stores trying to find an external floppy drive, and the next month trying to figure out how to get their iPhone to mount it.