Wish them a joyous Yuletide. A cheerful solstice. A felicitous December.

The FBI don’t need a back door, they just to find the plaintext default password some unpaid intern built into the product for testing purposes before Russia does.

It pries, it scrapes, it can do anything!

It’s just a widdle baby star.

… HONK!

Warning: Exposure may cause irritation.

Using something I’ve built to destroy warships before they can launch cruise missiles at an apartment block?

Now I am become death, saviour of civilian power grids.

I’m all about enlightened self-interest.

Like, altruism is rad and all, but some people are only ever going to be helpful if they stand to gain something, and it’s best we remind them of what they stand to gain at every opportunity.

And so this is Christmas And what have you done?

Relax, they’re small cans of light beer. It’s like 4 actual beers, tops.

It’s actually pretty fun when you play it back double speed, chipmunk style.

Windows is nagware now. Microsoft dared to imagine an entire OS on the Winrar model.

“Close enough, fuck it.” — National motto of Ancient Greece

Ah, the superior siege utensil.

squints

⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️? Am I pronouncing that right, or is the last ⬛️ silent?

Bike not listed.

I’m invincible!

I’ve been told that beans are an especially magical fruit.

Now you and me battle for the supremacy of our respective generations on the fields of Usenet, to honour our ancestors.

The zoomers were never on Twitter. Too busy with their Snappychats and Tikkytalks.

I just assume every image with four panels…