Oh this reminds me of that joke about someone being said to talk a lot of shite, and through the magic of political correctness, ends up being described as a huge provider of growth or something like that.

I thought that was the joke, but then I noticed he’s not on the mat. And then the comment about the size of the mat!

It’s one of the more memorable ones for some reason. And like all the best horror stories, there is no gore at all. Just that horrible DRR DRR DRR DRR sound…

There can certainly be beauty, but can there be art without an artist?

Turning women into baby factories very much seems to be part of the political agenda of some people.

Mmmh yes, that’s clearly a Cerulean phalloid.

That’s what I’ve been calling it for years, funnily. Like, I don’t practice meditation in general, but just letting time pass, chilling out, not focusing on anything to get into a state of mind that lets time flow faster, to me, has always been meditation.

I’m kinda laughing reading about this whole “raw dogging” thing. What a ridiculously macho way of talking about it.

I suppose they could call it “sitting to attention”, maybe? Like a palace guard you know? If they wanted to sound more macho without actually sounding like a creep.

I’m genuinely surprised they didn’t go for “Guns R Us”

You didn’t get the memo? Don’t stick your bits in crazy!

That’s not a dating strategy, that’s a freaking totem spirit animal!

Thank you kindly for the link. I’ll have to see what this brings to the table, but it’s always nice to have options!

I mean, lions sleep 17h a day iirc. So yeah, long periods of boredom with brief, intense bouts of maximum effort. Sounds about right.

I left Monday last week after a crash had occurred in prod. Had happened during the weekend because of a colleague fumbling on the Friday. Noticed it Monday morning. Notified the boss who didn’t care much and left for his afternoon off anyway, trusting me to do what i could. Which I did. Stabilised the bleeding, explained others what they had done and what to do, how to mitigate, how to temporise till I was back, then fucked off at 5pm sharp, for one of the best romantic weeks in years. Not a one phone call or message. I had even taken my laptop just in case they were really stuck. Nothing.

Vive la France 🇫🇷 is what I’m saying.

It’s wonderful for you that you live in a world where people use something else than Outlook to read email at work.

Emails are surprisingly hard to format, actually. If you want to use modern HTML, anyway.

That’s because you didn’t try our lord and savior SASS. Vanilla CSS should be illegal at this stage.

JsonSchema is a way to validate some JSON. A great thing when you want to stop any sort of malformed data from coming in. Instead of wrecking your head in your code testing whether this bit here is not null, or is that string a valid boolean (I still remember that shitty piece of code they had, ugh!) or that bit is empty or that one is an actual number, or a string that can only have such and such value, well, you can formalise all this in one place, as a data file instead of code. Very convenient.

Except when it turns out you’re using a JSON library that’s not one, not two, but six major versions behind, and the security department won’t greenlight you using anything recent because… fuck you, that’s why. And to add insult to injury, we were the Quality department. Responsible for analysing the code quality of thousands of coders, around a hundred thousand programs (mostly COBOL but also C#), of a European banking group… The JSON schema was for adding a layer of non existant security to our API. But no, let’s keep accepting shitty malformed JSON (because of course we kept receiving shitty JSON; that’s why we wanted to implement this)

So I had to rewrite a lot of custom code to patch the bugs we found in the library, and none of the nifty tools that let you put in json and generate json schema would work for us. Heck, they even have JsonSchema to validate your JsonSchema but those wouldn’t work either, so far behind our version was.

Fucking awesome experience. I’m glad it’s behind me.

I feel this in my bones. As an OG dev, I had this incredible urge to smack people when I was working for my last job and I saw the API specs with everything being sent as strings through JSON. Boolean? Sure, let’s use a string. Integers? Sure we’ll do conversion in our code, that’ll be more efficient… So fucking infuriating. Oh and don’t get me started on JsonSchema T_T

“Draw me like one of your French girls, you piece of shit.”

The safe word is “iceberg”.

You would be amazed!